The PS Theory

The poop smell theory is one I stumbled upon recently and hopefully I can find more evidence or perform more research to make this more then a theory. 

I first smelled encountered this conundrum after I went to college and my parents built a new home.  I noticed that every time I pooped at my parents the smell had a different tang to it.  Over the years I attributed this to my mothers cooking.  But after visiting once a month for several years, each time usually dropping one deuce, I noticed that these poops were extremely pungent.  The stench would travel down the stairs and hit some unsuspecting family member like a wave of death.

I finally came to the conclusion that my shit stank far worse at my parents home then at my house.  I believed this lie until a few months back when I moved to a new office building.  Every time I dropped the kids off I felt like I was covered in a foul film of filth (or an F3).  After taking a deeper whiff of the bathroom one early morning I found that it had certain underlying smell to it before it had been cursed with 300 random men shits.  Almost as if it was the tip of the iceberg just waiting to breach the water surface.

After talking this over with some colleagues the light bulb finally went off in my head.  Your poop smell is directly correlated with where you poop and the main factor maybe the water being used in the toilet.  Some facilities do not seem to have this attached smell accelerant; for example my second floor bathroom seems to have no hint of the after flavor.  My 3rd floor bathroom however does have something going on even if it is mild.

Some proponents of this theory claim that it’s all about what you eat.  After looking back on my several years experience of using the same facilities I can say with confidence that this is incorrect.  Food may change some of the flavor but that underlying tang still exists.  However, if I can obtain some funding I would gladly test this out by eating the same food for one week at two separate locations to try and determine the validity of my theory. 

In closing, next time you find yourself in a new location give it a good sniff and see if it doesn’t smell like your normal brew.  Take a walk in some fresh air afterward to see if you can still smell that pongient stench in your clothes.  If you find this happening in different locations than you are most likely encountering PST.

26 May 1 Permalink

If you become a tranny can you use the woman’s locker room?

Simple question, but it requires deep thought.  I stumbled upon this conundrum today at work and it really might not be all that bad to become a tranny.  There could be some great potential upside to it.

5 April 1 Permalink

Beet Chips Lead to Anal Probes

Thought I would start my first post off with some great information for the public.  Studies have found, (my studies), that beat chips lead to getting anally probed and here is why.

I wasn’t feeling well for a few weeks and I happened to notice that I was having some blood in my stool.  I decided to ignore it until it happened to be going on for a few days.  Since the internet cures everything I did a little searching on it and found out that I could have anything from anal cancer to a case of beat chip shits.  My lovely wife happened to come home with some tasty beat chips a few days earlier and I decided that this had to be my problem. 

Fast forward to a week later and I’m still feeling out of it with the awesome blood twisted shits and decide that’s time to talk to the doc.  At this point I’m not sure what is wrong with me and ruled out the chips since I was feeling a little light headed at work.  I figured that it would be a simple checkup and maybe some blood work.  As always I did a little bit of miscalculation.

The appointment was for 7:30 in the morning with no one in the office and I was greeted with a nice young nurse.  After going through the usually stuff with the nurse the doc showed up and went through all my symptoms.  He casually says to me, “OK drop your pants I’m going to have to take a look”.  This is when I was hit in the face with a ton of bricks and realized my missed calculation. I finally put 1 + 2 together and realized the best way for a doc to check blood in the stool is to dive right into your ass.  

The doc proceed to strap on the gloves, I could have sworn he was smirking, and he grabs a tube of lube.  I’m now down to my boxers and trying to figure out my options.  He then opens the door and yells for the nurse and says he is going to need an extra hand.

I’m fat but not that fat, why the hell do you need 4 hands up my ass?  She comes into the room and joins the fun, I’m now naked below the waste bent over the table and the doc is getting ready to perform a root canal on my poop shoot.  This is one of the most uncomfortable feelings I’ve ever had, I wish I had a mirror so I could see how far he had his fist up my ass.  He finally figures out that everything seems to be fine.  He pulls out and tells the nurse to help me clean up.  To me this means she is going to actually wipe my ass which is pretty damn humiliating.  Instead she tosses a couple tissues at me and says “here you go”.  I felt like a prostitute who just got creamed all over and all I got out of it was a tissue and some tears. 

We finished up and he told me to just to see how I feel and if it continues to happen I can come back for more fun tests.  He then told me to stop in for a physical in a few months.  I limped out of there with my head down and in the end I never told the doc about the beat chips, I never thought to.  At this point I stopped eating them and within days the red river of gold subsided. 

So yea, if you eat beat chips you might end up getting anally probed, don’t make the same mistake I did.

31 March Permalink